So the clouds were gathering this morning- foggy, stormy, raining.

Uh, no, not outside. Outside was gloriously beautiful with the blue sky that seems to have its own special hue down here in Texas.

No, the storm was in my heart. I hurt my back somehow yesterday. I must be getting really old and broken down, because I am not really sure what even happened. I mean if I had been lifting a big box, or moving furniture, or one of those other kind of "heavy" things I tend to do myself instead of asking for help...well if it had been one of those things I could just chalk it up to my over doing it. But I can't even think of what to blame this on. Certainly it couldn't be that I don't exercise enough- you know, core strength and all.

But back to this morning- my storm clouds gathering and spilling over to run down my cheeks. I was laying on the bed, still in pajamas, flat on my back with pillows propped under my legs to take the pressure off my back. I mean, this is the day before Thanksgiving, the day to bake, and pack, and play Christmas music two days early. I was in the midst of a swelling pity party with self condemnation being the main guest when a Word broke in,

"Be still my daughter, I love you so much and you are beautiful to Me."

"How can you think I am beautiful? I am a mess and I need to vacuum and the dust bunnies under my dressers are about to be dust lions. I am not ready for this trip. Why can I never seem to get around to all there is to do? How can You love me and how can You think I am beautiful? And by the way Lord, is this really You, because I don't want to listen to myself right now!"

And then His word repeated in my soul, "Be still my daughter, I love you so much and you are beautiful to Me."

I knew it must be my Lord because I could feel the beginnings of the Light streaming around the edges of my clouds. I began to feel the wash of His love and acceptance and began to accept where He had me this morning- flat on my back, still enough to hear His sweet voice. I love that He repeated the same words to me. There was no need of explanations, of reasons why this occurred today, of a plan of action. Just reassurance and His precious love.

Why does He love me? Because it is His nature.

Why does He think I am beautiful? Because He created me.

He created me to need Him. And this Thanksgiving I think that is the thing I am thankful for the most.

Be joyful always? Really? ALWAYS?

Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.     -- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-

When God say always does He really mean ALWAYS?  Like ALL the time?  No matter what? Without exception?  Every time?  Every circumstance?  Could He possible mean THAT?

I mean- how is that even possible.  Today I woke up with the remain of a migraine that will not quite go away that has interposed on my sleep for two nights.  Was I supposed to joyful with THAT?

This afternoon I was ready to strangle someone I love very much.  Someone I have cared and nurtured for many years.  Was I supposed to be joyful THEN?

When I got home a car wouldn't start and we had to jump it.  Was I supposed to be joyful THEN?

Then I finally got inside, out of the cold wind (was I supposed to be joyful when I was cold?) and was met at the door with a "We have something to tell you" and the look from the supervising sibling that communicated that serious parental intervention was required.  Then? Was I supposed to be joyful THEN?

REALLY?

Yes. Really!  I was.  Supposed to be that is.  I wasn't.  Joyful I mean.  How could God expect me to feel joy in all these circumstances?  Uh-  well-  I guess He didn't command me to feel anything.  He really just commanded me to BE something and He was gracious enough to tell me how.

Praying continually. Being thankful.  If I am supposed to be praying continually then it must mean that I am going to need a lot more of God and a lot less of me in order to be joyful.

And if I am "giving thanks in all things" I am going to be awfully busy.  In fact I will have little time left over for feeling sorry for myself or feeling angry at a mistake or feeling envious of another's abundance.

So I think I better have a "do over" today- Thank you Lord for the headache: thank You that I have to slow down, and for medicine that can work, and family that cares that I am in pain.  Thank you Lord for the mistake of my child: thank You for the opportunity for a lesson to be learned, and thank You for ready solutions, and thank you for the opportunity I will have to apologize when he gets home, and thank You for love that covers a multitude of sins.  Thank You Lord for a car with a bad battery: 

thank You for a responsible son who doesn't expect me to fix everything for him, and thank You for jumper cables, and thank You for a car at all and that it still runs after 180,000 miles.  Thank You for the cold wind: I like sweaters.  Thank you Lord for my young child and her sins: thank You for the chance to share how You hate lies, and thank You that You hate lies, and thank You for creative ideas, and thank You for a big sister who cares for their younger sister, and thank You that I was with her for this valuable lesson.

Thank You that I do not have to feel happy to BE joyful.  Thank YOU.

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

I John 4:9 By this the love of God is revealed in us: that God has sent his one and only Son into the world so that we may live through him. 4:10 In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. 4:11 Dear friends, if God so loved us, then we also ought to love one another. 4:12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God resides in us, and his love is perfected in us.

My love does not reflect my Father's love when:

• it looks for what it gets instead of what it can give
• it is affected by circumstance
• it is limited by irritants
• it doesn't cover over sins
• it keeps account of wrongs
• it selfishly tries to get its way
• it requires emotions to work
• it desires revenge
• it looks at me before others
• it tires out
• it runs out of hope
• it looks at the surface of things
• it assumes
• it grabs
• it gives up
• it stops trying
• it hides
• it waits for a return
• it says, "No more!"

His love has no limit

His grace has no measure

His power no boundary known unto man

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

-Annie J Flint