Life is Messy

I love neat, and organized, and color coordinated, and plastic containers, and labels.

I love for everything to have a place and to be in that place.

I love to open the drawer and have the scissors right where they belong. I love for my file cabinets to have neat, alphabetical files with everything in them, preferably in chronological order.

I love to have a schedule to my day, my week, and my year.

And this is just how things are.....on the planet of "How Things Should Be".

But not in my house.

I can always envision it, and draw up lists to get there, and plan on days to accomplish it, but it just doesn't happen at my address.

It is sort of like when I sing. I love harmonies. I hear them in my head. But somewhere between my brain and my vocal cords the note changes or gets translated or altered or something... because when it comes out, it is not harmony...it is usually the opposite. When I actually hit a good alto harmonious note it just gives me a thrill and sends shivers down my spine. And when I stand next to someone who sings perfect harmonies it both blesses me ... and condemns me. Why can't I do that, I wonder?

It is the same feeling I have when I walk into someone's home which actually looks like they live on the planet of "How Things Should Be". It gives me a thrill just to look around and see that it is possible and it condemns me as I ask myself, why can't I do this?

2 Corinthians warns us in 10:12: ...but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.

This Scripture actually refers to boasting and feeling pride as we compare ourselves. I personally don't deal with the temptation to boast all that often. I am pretty sure that almost everybody else has figured this thing out better than I have. I am, through being so aware of my weaknesses and failings, so incredibly grateful of the grace and mercy of God, because otherwise I would be sunk.

My comparing however brings about other sins, and they are ones I see in many women. Discouragement. Dissatisfaction. Regret. Self-condemnation. Weariness.

And in reality, ingratitude. So, while I am grateful for His grace and mercy, I am not grateful for what He has allotted to me.

My looking at other's strengths and letting them magnify my weaknesses, makes me ungrateful for how and what God has created and given to me. I am an idea person who starts projects before the last one is finished. I hate waste and therefore don't want to get rid of things that might be needed later. I am a Mom of a large family of varied and talented kids that are involved in projects and activities that require stuff and driving and traveling and equipment. I am a wife to a man with qualities and talents that have brought opportunities and requirements into our lives that necessitate me to stretch. I am a homeschooler who has a school library, computer lab, and various and a sundry other supplies to corral.

In short, my life and my abilities, and my weaknesses do not fit in a closet filled with Rubbermaid that has been attacked by a label maker.

This weekend I had a lesson in the fact that life is messy. We were staying with sweet family who put us up while we went to a Speech tournament. Their house looks perfectly clean- smooth counters, no piles, no dust.

And when we would come home at night between 9 and 10 they would already be asleep, with their house in order.

I on the other hand had made a mad dash out of my house (leaving it a mess), on very little sleep, trying to get everything ready for what I was leaving behind and where I was going. We had been going to bed late and getting up early.

At least twice during the weekend, when I thought I was feeling great and even smiling, someone would ask me, "Are you all right? You looked so tired!"

Great.

I didn't think I looked bad, and I looked bad.

What do I look like when I know I look bad?

I was already feeling the condemnation rolling over me as I left their neat, well-rested house this morning....late by the way....to rush off to our next activity, when life got even messier. Some minor mess ups, some accidents, some irritations, some miscommunications.

No reason to go into specifics.

Suffice it to say, life is messy.

Life is messy.

And I was discouraged.

Alright, I am still a little discouraged. But that is why I felt the need to write about this. Because I don't think I am supposed to be.

I don't think I am supposed to let the weight of the world rest on my shoulders, but rather let the One who placed the world on its foundations carry the weight.

I don't think I am supposed to be overcome, but rather rest in the arms of the Overcomer.

And I don't think I am supposed to be surprised that life is messy!

So if it is a fact that my life is messy, what will my response be?

• Will I sit back in my condemnation chair, singing "Nobody Knows the Troubles I've Seen"?
• Will I give up and become bitter and angry?
• Will I decide it is just not worth it and live for myself alone?

no. No. NO.

2 Corinthians goes on to say in 10:13: But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure of the sphere which God apportioned (assigned is another translation) to us as a measure to reach...

If the God of the Universe has assigned me a messy, non-containable, unorganizable, full to overflowing life, then I had better stay within the "measure of the sphere He apportioned" and quit looking at other spheres to determine how I am doing. And I had better stop looking at the sphere of the planet of "How Things Should Be."

And I had better start praising Him and start being grateful for all He has given me.

Praise God for these messy days. These messy, accident prone, question provoking days. These days that keep me leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

These days, that confirm in my heart, that even if I wanted to boast, I have nothing to boast in.

2 Corinthians 10:17: He who boasts, let him boast in the Lord.

Silver and Gold

Everyone knows silver and gold are valuable. Today, in this era of economic uncertainty it seems even more valuable. What makes gold and other precious metals valuable are that they are rare. There is not a lot of them on the earth and they are also hard to find and obtain.

And the purity of the metal will also greatly effect the value of the metal. 24-karat gold is the most pure and the most expensive. At today's prices, 10 grams of 14-karat is worth $235.11, while 10 grams of 24-karat gold is worth $415.77. The quantity of the karat of the gold represents the purity of the gold.

But how does gold go from a rock to a shiny bar? Have you ever heard of the refiner's fire?

Psalm 66:10 "For you, O God, tested us; you purified us like refined silver."

Oh, yeah. The refiner's fire. For gold, which has no nerve endings, senses, or feelings, this may be a hot process but it is not a painful one. But for us....who do have those pesky feelings and such...it is not necessarily pleasant. All right, it is usually most unpleasant. It can even be painful.

Proverbs 17:3 "The crucible is for refining silver and the furnace is for gold,

likewise the Lord tests hearts."

Why would God test and purify our hearts, which causes pain, if He loves us?

Because He loves us.

Because He loves us too much to let us rest in our impurities. In gold, those impurities are called dross. Merriam-Webster defines dross as: the scum that forms on the surface of molten metal; waste or foreign matter. Ummm.....I don't think I want "scum" in my life. It makes me think of the nasty, smelly green stuff floating on top of a stagnant pond. I don't want any of that!

But this definition makes me think of something else as well. When I think about the dross as foreign matter I realize man was not designed "in the beginning" to be a substance containing "scum". When man was created "in the image" of his Creator, there was no scum, no foreign matter, no waste. Oh, the terrible destruction and cost of sin. It pollutes and contaminates our hearts and our minds.

So, we enter, by our loving Father's leading, into the fire. In the old hymn "How Firm a Foundation", this picture is beautifully painted with words:

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design

Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

God is the pure and holy One, and to the greatest degree possible Believer's want to reflect Him. And the gold of our lives will reflect Him better if it is clean and pure and shiny. He does not place our path through the fiery trials because He does not care for us. On the contrary. Just like when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were in the fire (Dan. 3), when we are in the fire we are not in the fire alone. When He places us in the fire, He stays with us all along.

I Peter 1:7: "Such trials show the proven character of your faith, which is much more valuable than gold – gold that is tested by fire, even though it is passing away – and will bring praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Is it hot in your life right now? Lean on the One who brought you there and has stayed with you in the fire.

Deut. 31:8 "The Lord is indeed going before you – he will be with you; he will not fail you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged!”

I had a lightbulb moment today.

I was wondering about the question- when something bad happens did God cause it or just allow it?

I guess that while I completely believe and rest in the sovereignty of God, I do not believe He causes bad things. He did not desire or cause Eve to take a bite of the apple. But He did allow her the free will to choose the apple. Even though He knew of the consequences it would cause. Even though He knew it would hurt her and everything around her. He allowed it.

And all of that is fine in the academic- but when something bad happens in your life, there is another question-

Why did He not stop it from happening?

Today, my son walks through a more painful situation than I could have ever imagined

-why did God not protect him?

Today, I learned of a young man that was terribly hurt in a tragic car accident

-why did God not prevent it?

Today, we are struggling financially

-why did God not provide?

And then the light bulb went off.

God does not have to demean himself to reveal His truth to me, but out of His love, he sometimes does.

This is what He showed me:

He allows these things because He is able to carry me through them.

No, this revelation is not rocket science, but think about it a minute. If something terrible occurs in your life, your Heavenly Father is right there beside you ready to catch you, to carry you, to sustain you, to lead you. Yes, He allowed it to happen, but He never desired for you to go through it alone. And He knows your needs and He has designed His solution to bring you closer to Himself.

That really isn't saying He designed the pain. It doesn't mean He desired for someone to sin against me. It doesn't mean He directed the car to run into me. But it does mean if God was not SUFFICIENT enough to carry me through the ordeal, if He was not COMPLETE enough to make up for the loss, if He was not CARING and TENDER enough to assuage the broken heart then the difficulties would be just that- difficulties without any redeeming value.

But since God is SUFFICIENT enough, and COMPLETE enough, and TENDER enough then not only does He bring good out of bad, but He tenderly cares for His children to enable them to weather the storm. He will love you, He will care for you, and He will transform that situation into something that changes you, but does not destroy you.

Thank you Lord for Your sustaining, changing, redeeming power and might and that You allow nothing into my life that You are not prepared to carry me through.