When I am Weak...

What do I do?

What do I do when the math equation in my life doesn't add up? When the addition of the tasks + jobs + needs + requirements is greater than my strength?

What do I do when life comes in as a flood and I am overwhelmed?

Well, this morning, when I was feeling as if the flood would win, I went to the Word. (Confession: while I have been feeling overwhelmed for several days, I had not done much of this one simple step)

And this is what I was met with:

The Lord sat as King at the flood;
Yes, the Lord sites as King forever.
The Lord will give strength to His people;
The Lord will bless His people with peace. 
~Ps 29: 10,11

 Wow.

God sits as King in the middle of my flood too. In the flood of my emotions. In the flood of my fears. In the flood of my activities. In the flood of my tasks.

God sits as King.

And as He sees me struggling and striving to survive, He does not scold me or look away or laugh.

No. He gives me strength. And He blesses me.

So what's a girl to do when she is feeling worn out and not up to the flood that surrounds her?
Go to the Word.
Every. Single. Time.

Because there I meet my King Who will give me strength.
Because when I am weak, He is strong. (II Cor 12:10)  

What We Will Do For Free Food!

Three "cows"! Oh, what we will do for free food!

"If we dress like a cow, we will get free chicken!"

Are you kidding me?

While some might say, "Are you kidding me? You think I am going to dress like a cow just for some free chicken?!"

I said, "Are you kidding me? All we have to do for some free chicken is dress like a cow?! Lets go!"

Chick-fil-A does this once a year. And all I have to say is:
Well done Chick-fil-A! What is my dignity compared to a free meal!

I think Chick-fil-A is a great company. They have good food for fast food. Their waffle fries are heavenly. They started in Georgia so they completely rock at Sweet Tea. They are always clean. And when you ask for anything their employees answer, "It is my pleasure!"

So when there was a chance at free food.....no brainer! Where are my spots and my ears?

And if you don't think it can get any better than a free meal, try this! You can go to as many Chick-fil-A's in a day as you can get to. So we hit one at Noon, then did some errands, and hit a different one about 3:00. My little slip of a ten-year-old ate 24 nuggets yesterday!

What is pride compared to 24 nuggets in one day!

But as I drove down the road, with my cow ears flapping, I thought about what Jesus said:

And Jesus said unto them, "I am the bread of life: he that comes to Me shall never hunger"  John 6:35

As I looked down at my cow spots adorning my clothes, it occurred to me again how amazing God is. He doesn't require us to dress up, or get ourselves together, or change our ways, or fix ourselves up, or pretend we are something we are not.

He wants us to come to Him NOW! Just as we are.

And then Jesus offers us the free-est of free meals!

He offers us Himself!
He will fill us.
He will change us.
He will fix us.
He will even dress us!

And all because of Who He is, not because of who we try to be.

Chick-fil-A's meal was great for a day. We sure were full after we ate there, and we appreciated a Company with generosity and a sense of humor!

But today we are hungry again.

But Jesus is the Bread of Life! He is free!
And when we partake of Him, we never hunger again!

Finding The Way Out

I love hummingbirds.

I love how small, yet powerful, they are.
They are fast.
They fly backwards.
They stop in midair.
They are as close to perpetual motion as I have ever seen.

They also remind me of Colorado, which to me means VACATION!

I just got back from vacation, and being on vacation would be one of the reasons I haven't written anything for two months. Only one of the reasons- but a happy reason, so let's stick with that one.

And while up in the mountains, I had the most extraordinary experience.
One of my favorite vacation "activities" is to lie on the swing on our screened in porch and read. And read. And read. And then sleep. It is awesome.

But one afternoon, as I was reading, I heard the sound of a hummingbird that seemed really close. And sounded a little odd. When I looked up I saw two hummingbirds INSIDE the screened in porch! The door was slightly ajar and they had somehow managed to fly in.

My amazement was matched by their frustration.


They were on the screen.
They could feel the fresh air.
They could smell the flowers.

Yet the screen posed an insurmountable obstacle. Freedom seemed so close, and yet was so elusive. They flew and flew up and down that screen, but they could not figure out how to go THROUGH it.

Susan to the rescue!

Brilliant idea #1: open door wide, and they will sense the air and fly through.
Result: Nope. They stayed on the screen, trying desperately to get to the fresh air they could feel flowing through.

Brilliant idea #2: gently herd them toward the door. 
Result: Ever tried to herd hummingbirds? Yep. About as easy as it sounds. They flew around the door to the screen on the other side!

Now I was out of brilliant ideas.

But, after a bit, the sweet little birds were getting so tired from trying so hard they began sitting of the ledge. I saw a small window of opportunity.

Brilliant idea #3: Pick them up and take them to a feeder.
Result: First of all, I now know from personal experience, that holding a hummingbird in your hand is about like holding a cotton ball. They weigh almost nothing. And second of all, if they are tired out from beating against an immovable object for an hour, they will let you carry them.

After getting them to nourishment, they flew off. Slower than normal. But they did fly off.

But I had been thinking.
How often was I like those hummingbirds?

• I get myself into a pickle.
• Then I beat against an immovable object in frustration.
• I ignore the way out in my pursuit of what seems, at the time, the only actual option.

"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."  -I Cor. 10:13

How often has God opened the door to my way of escape but I have stubbornly ignored it while pursuing what seems the only logical solution?

How worn out do I have to get before I will let Him pick me up and carry me to where I need to be?

Watching that bird try desperately and hopelessly to make its own way out, convicted me deeply.

Instead of TRYING SO HARD to fight my circumstances, and achieving no result, I should cry out like David did, "I am in trouble; hear me speedily. Draw near to my soul, and redeem it; deliver me!" -Ps 69:17,18

What insurmountable obstacle is in your way this morning?

Cry out to God!
He is faithful!
He has already made the way of escape!
He will deliver you!

Life is Messy

The end of the school year and the beginning of summer.....makes life a little crazy. So here is one from the vault!  
 

I love neat, and organized, and color coordinated, and plastic containers, and labels.

I love for everything to have a place and to be in that place.

I love to open the drawer and have the scissors right where they belong. I love for my file cabinets to have neat, alphabetical files with everything in them, preferably in chronological order.

I love to have a schedule to my day, my week, and my year.

And this is just how things are.....on the planet of "How Things Should Be".

But not in my house.

I can always envision it, and draw up lists to get there, and plan on days to accomplish it, but it just doesn't happen at my address.

It is sort of like when I sing. I love harmonies. I hear them in my head. But somewhere between my brain and my vocal cords the note changes or gets translated or altered or something... because when it comes out, it is not harmony...it is usually the opposite. When I manage to actually hit a good alto harmonious note it just gives me a thrill and sends shivers down my spine. And when I stand next to someone who sings perfect harmonies it both blesses me ... and condemns me. Why can't I do that, I wonder?

It is the same feeling I have when I walk into someone's home which actually looks like they live on the planet of "How Things Should Be". It gives me a thrill just to look around and see that it is possible and it condemns me as I ask myself, why can't I do this?

2 Corinthians warns us in 10:12: ...but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding.

This Scripture actually refers to boasting and feeling pride as we compare ourselves. I personally don't deal with the temptation to boast all that often. I am pretty sure that almost everybody else has figured this thing out better than I have. I am, through being so aware of my weaknesses and failings, so incredibly grateful of the grace and mercy of God, because otherwise I would be sunk.

My comparing however brings about other sins, and they are ones I see in many women. Discouragement. Dissatisfaction. Regret. Self-condemnation. Weariness.

And in reality, ingratitude. So, while I am grateful for His grace and mercy, I am not grateful for what He has allotted to me.

My looking at others' strengths and letting them magnify my weaknesses, makes me ungrateful for how and what God has created and given to me. I am an idea person who starts projects before the last one is finished. I hate waste and therefore don't want to get rid of things that might be needed later. I am a Mom of a large family of varied and talented kids that are involved in projects and activities that require stuff and driving and traveling and equipment. I am a wife to a man with qualities and talents that have brought opportunities and requirements into our lives that necessitate me to stretch. I am a homeschooler who has a school library, computer lab, and various and a sundry other supplies to corral.

In short, my life and my abilities, and my weaknesses do not fit in a closet filled with Rubbermaid that has been attacked by a label maker.

This weekend I had a lesson in the fact that life is messy. We were staying with sweet family who put us up while we went to a Speech tournament. Their house looks perfectly clean- smooth counters, no piles, no dust.

And when we would come home at night between 9 and 10 they would already be asleep, with their house in order.

I on the other hand had made a mad dash out of my house (leaving it a mess), on very little sleep, trying to get everything ready for what I was leaving behind and where I was going. We had been going to bed late and getting up early.

At least twice during the weekend, when I thought I was feeling great and even smiling, someone would ask me, "Are you all right? You looked so tired!"

Great.

I didn't think I looked bad, and I looked bad.

What do I look like when I know I look bad?

I was already feeling the condemnation rolling over me as I left their neat, well-rested house this morning....late by the way....to rush off to our next activity, when life got even messier. Some minor mess ups, some accidents, some irritations, some miscommunications.

No reason to go into specifics.

Suffice it to say, life is messy.

Life is messy.

And I was discouraged.

Alright, I am still a little discouraged. But that is why I felt the need to write about this. Because I don't think I am supposed to be.

I don't think I am supposed to let the weight of the world rest on my shoulders, but rather let the One who placed the world on its foundations carry the weight.

I don't think I am supposed to be overcome, but rather rest in the arms of the Overcomer.

And I don't think I am supposed to be surprised that life is messy!

So if it is a fact that my life is messy, what will my response be?

• Will I sit back in my condemnation chair, singing "Nobody Knows the Troubles I've Seen"?
• Will I give up and become bitter and angry?
• Will I decide it is just not worth it and live for myself alone?

no. No. NO.

2 Corinthians goes on to say in 10:13: But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure of the sphere which God apportioned (assigned is another translation) to us as a measure to reach...

If the God of the Universe has assigned me a messy, non-containable, unorganizable, full to overflowing life, then I had better stay within the "measure of the sphere He apportioned" and quit looking at other spheres to determine how I am doing. And I had better stop looking at the sphere of the planet of "How Things Should Be."

And I had better start praising Him and start being grateful for all He has given me.

Praise God for these messy days. These messy, accident prone, question provoking days. These days that keep me leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

These days, that confirm in my heart, that even if I wanted to boast, I have nothing to boast in.

2 Corinthians 10:17: He who boasts, let him boast in the Lord.