What to do? What to do?
I have been praying. A lot. And I have been wishing for a Daniel 5 sort of moment. You know one of those moments where some big fingers appear and begin to write the answer on the wall. Because I am willing to do whatever God wants in this (Whatever Lord!), I am just not sure what that is.
It is easy to decide what you should do or not do when you know you really SHOULDN'T do what you want to do. There is no need for wall writing on those moments. Just obedience...that is all that is needed then.
But what about when you are deciding about a good thing? What about when the "yes" as well as the "no" has just as much possibility of being God's will?
What do you do when you feel like you have following God's will and then suddenly the light goes out and the way just seems very, very dark? When the next step seems uncertain?
I was thinking about that this morning, and praying about my decisions, and not feeling or seeing the answer, and then the answer came in an unexpected way and was an unexpected answer. The way really shouldn't have been unexpected because I found it in Oswald Chambers this morning...
...sidenote here: I love Oswald Chambers so much he has appeared on this blog quite a few times before:
- like here
- and also here
- which is not to be confused with here
- and most especially here (you even get a picture with this one)
...so, yes, I do love him and I should not have been surprised when God used his writings to answer me!
...back to this morning and my hard decisions and my resounding silence to my prayers. This is what Oswald writes:
"When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait for His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure."
"Um, Lord? You mean the silence is a part of Your plan?"
"You mean You want me to trust You when there is No Answer?!"
"You mean You want me to believe You in the DARK?
Yep. I think so.
Maybe that is why Hebrews defines faith as "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen!"
So where do I go to get the light for my next step?
I suppose I should go the only place that promises to be "a light unto my step" (that would be the Bible, by the way) and see what God says about the Next. Step.
Just light for the next step.
So that is where I will go.
And then I will wait, in the silence, for as long as it lasts.. and. trust. Him.