What is YOUR Value?

There I was. Sitting at a friend's living room for a Bible Study. Gazing out the large picture window. Focusing on nothing in particular. Lost in my own thoughts.

I was there to be involved in a Bible Study.
I should have been paying attention.
I should have been listening.
I should have been taking notes.

But, quite frankly, I had some things on my mind. Some concerns. Some quandaries. Some problems that weren't easily solved.

And so instead of paying attention to the Bible Study, I started looking out the window, lost in the maze of my thoughts.

And then I saw it:

There, laying on the deck, was a small, brown, dead bird.

No one in the room had even noticed.  Nor was it likely that anyone ever would. Because it was such a small, inconsequential occurrence. The death of one, small sparrow makes no difference and can occur without anyone marking it ever happening.

Funny, though.
That moment as I stared at the tiny, deceased bird, I was ministered to more than any of the rest of the Bible Study.

God used that bird to remind me of His word:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows." -Matthew 10:29-31

That small dead bird, for whom the world takes no notice, had been noted by the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. The death of that sparrow, which had not the least effect on anyone, had the full attention of the Heavenly Father.

And as I looked at that frail, little bird, I thought about my small, inconsequential problems. I thought of how alone I felt in my quandaries. I thought of my concerns which matter to so few other people.

And then I remembered.
I remembered to Whom I belong.
I remembered Whose Hand holds me.
I remembered Who had bought me.
And Who had counted every hair on my head.

I remember Who had counted me as valuable enough to purchase me through the death of His own Son.

And I recalled that because of ALL of that.....I did not need to fear. I did not need to worry. I did not need to fret.

Because I am bought. I am held. I am seen. I am loved.

I Can't See!

There are big decisions on my horizon.

What to do? What to do?

The answer is, I am not sure. That is the problem.

I have been praying. A lot. And I have been wishing for a Daniel 5 sort of moment.  You know one of those moments where some big fingers appear and begin to write the answer on the wall. Because I am willing to do whatever God wants in this (Whatever Lord!), I am just not sure what that is.

It is easy to decide what you should do or not do when you know you really SHOULDN'T do what you want to do. There is no need for wall writing on those moments. Just obedience...that is all that is needed then.

But what about when you are deciding about a good thing? What about when the "yes" as well as the "no" has just as much possibility of being God's will?

What do you do when you feel like you have following God's will and then suddenly the light goes out and the way just seems very, very dark? When the next step seems uncertain?

I was thinking about that this morning, and praying about my decisions, and not feeling or seeing the answer, and then the answer came in an unexpected way and was an unexpected answer.  The way really shouldn't have been unexpected because I found it in Oswald Chambers this morning...

...sidenote here: I love Oswald Chambers so much he has appeared on this blog quite a few times before:

• like here
• and also here
• which is not to be confused with here
• and most especially here (you even get a picture with this one)

...so, yes, I do love him and I should not have been surprised when God used his writings to answer me!

...back to this morning and my hard decisions and my resounding silence to my prayers. This is what Oswald writes:

"When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait for His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure."

"Um, Lord? You mean the silence is a part of Your plan?"
"You mean You want me to trust You when there is No Answer?!"
"You mean You want me to believe You in the DARK?


Yep. I think so.

Maybe that is why Hebrews defines faith as "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen!"

So where do I go to get the light for my next step?

I suppose I should go the only place that promises to be "a light unto my step" (that would be the Bible, by the way) and see what God says about the Next. Step.

That is all I really need.

Just light for the next step.

So that is where I will go.


And then I will wait, in the silence, for as long as it lasts.. and. trust. Him.

Where To Take Your Problems!

What is Your Problem?
Problems often feel like knots. Knots are difficult to untie.  Because they are...um....knots.

It can be very hard to figure out where to even begin to unravel the knot. But it is important to figure that out, because if you pull on the wrong thing you can actually make the knot worse. You can end up tightening the knot rather than loosening it.

And problems are usually the same way. We could start doing things thinking we are solving things, when in all reality we are making things worse.


The Story:
"MOM!!!", I hear the child's voice calling from the other side of the house. 


All Moms know that tone. It is the "I have a problem and I know just the go-to lady who can fix it" tone. The great thing about being a Mom is the there is no job description available that could encompass all the issues you get to interface with on a day to day basis.


My little girl finds me in my room and brings me her necklace. It is a mess. It is in knots. And knots. And knots. In fact, it is in so many knots, it looks like it may be impossible to ever NOT be in knots.


But she hands it to me in complete confidence and looks me in the eye with total trust that I can and will fix her problem. Yikes! That is a lot of pressure!


And, thankfully, this time at least, I live up to her expectation.  After many attempts and the use of a magnifying glass (these old eyes ain't what they used to be!) I succeed in unraveling the rascally, knotty knot.




The Point:
Yes, there actually is a point. And it is this.

Where do we take our problems?

Yes, I realize that this is a question and not a point, but it leads to the point. And yes, this IS a rhetorical question. You ARE supposed to go with the obvious answer...GOD! Our Heavenly Father! The One who created and loves us. He is whom we go to with our problems.

Then the follow-on question is: when we go to Him, do we go with faith, hope, and trust that He CAN and WILL solve the problem?!?! Whatever it is? Do we have the expectation that He is our "go-to" for our problem because Of Course He can work it out?


Oswald Chambers said:

"any problem, and there are many, that is alongside me while I obey God increases my ecstatic delight because I know that my Father knows, and I am going to watch and see how He unravels this thing."

There it is.

Complete trust. Complete confidence. Complete LACK of fear or worry.

And therefore Complete JOY!


The Question?
Where do you go with your problems?

Who do you trust implicitly with finding the solution?

Who is the great Unraveler of all your knots?


The Answer:
Not you.
Not your boss.
Not your spouse.
Not your circumstances.
Not your checkbook.
Nope. Nauta. Nein. Nyet. None of those.

It is God. Always. Only. Alone.

It is God.

Where is My Confidence?

What do I put my confidence in?

This is an important question, because what and where I put my confidence in is what I rely upon. It is what I turn to in time of trouble. It is what gives me my security. It is what I constantly check on and tend to. It is what I protect and value.  Because the STATUS of what I rely upon determines the LEVEL of my confidence.

Or in other words, it determines how confident am I in what I put my confidence in.

That confusing sentence actually makes sense because most of the things I am tempted to put my confidence in are fragile and changeable and dependent upon either my actions or the actions of others. And let’s be honest, both my actions and other’s actions are pretty flimsy and unreliable places to rest.

In Philippians 3:3 Paul states that he “puts no confidence in the flesh.” And then in the next three verses he lists all the things he could put his confidence in, if he DID rely upon the flesh. He lists all the places of his own actions where he could put his trust in….if he wanted. And it is a pretty impressive list.

My list looks significantly different that Paul’s. Paul had both a stellar Jewish pedigree and vocation. I am not a Hebrew or a Pharisee. I have never really been very good at keeping the Law. I view Speed Limits as suggestions to people who don’t drive well.

My list is more earthy. My “confidence temptation list” consists of bank accounts and academic achievements and my children’s academic (or business or social or personal) achievements and completed To Do lists and stock portfolios and zero balances on the credit card and a clean, organized house. 

I have a rather interesting list of financial security and personal achievement on my “List”, don’t I? I guess because if I have enough money I feel secure and if everyone (including myself) is doing well I feel successful.

But I don't think God wants me to feel secure or successful in anything or anyone but Himself!

One of the ways I KNOW that I know that God is at work in my life is that He has pretty much been taking every single thing that I am tempted to put my confidence in and He has been actively “shaking it up” and turning it upside-down. It is pretty hard to put your confidence in ANYTHING that is upside-down!

I guess God shook up Paul’s “List” too, because in Phil 3:8 Paul states that he has “suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish.”

Wow. How did Paul get to the place that rather than complaining and mourning his losses, he instead counted them as rubbish? If you get around to thinking of the "stuff" as rubbish you would be glad to get rid of it! It would be like getting the trash taken out!

He probably was able to have his view of his "confidence list" stuff changed because of what he previously told us in Phil. 3:7: “But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.”

What this means is that no matter how well or how poorly the things of Paul’s list were going….no matter ….compared to knowing Christ….they were a loss.

Phil 3:8:  "Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.” 

So if I am counting all the stuff as loss then it wouldn't matter how well or poorly something was going. Because compared to knowing Christ it is just all a bunch of trash in big black trash bags!

That means that no matter how much money is in the bank or how well my child did on the SAT or how perfect my house looks, compared to knowing Jesus it is like:

• the bank closing, or
• losing my job, or
• the stock market crashing, or
• the house burning down...with no insurance, or
• failing out of college, or
• the car being totaled, or....

I think you get the idea.  Just think of the freedom of being released from the care and the concern and the tending and the management of the stuff. I could be free and COMPLETELY AVAILABLE to get to know my Lord more.

...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead. I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  ~Philippians 3:13,14

So today I choose to:

• put no confidence in the flesh
• count everything as loss
• put it behind me
• forget about what lies behind me
• listen to the upward call
• press forward
• right into the arms of Jesus.

Sometimes My Head Needs Lifting!

Sometimes I am so tired when I go to bed.

Sometimes I am so tired when I wake up!

And that would be this morning, by the way. Ugh. I am supposed to be up and leading the day and getting school started and cheerfully encouraging the children and......yeah- that is what I am supposed to be doing.

But instead, I am waiting for the coffee to kick in.

*Side note: did you know that studies show that women who drink coffee suffer from less depression!!! Ha! I love it when "studies show" something good about something I do a lot of but which I feel a slight amount of guilt over. Oh Sweet Release!

So this morning, because (warning: transparency coming) I didn't want to read anything "HARD" and study hard, I didn't go to where I left off in Ephesians, I instead went to Psalms and was just going to read the "Psalms of the Day"- you know, where you do the date Psalm (Psalm 3 today) and then add 30 until you get to end of the Psalms (Psalms 3, 33, 63, 93, 123). I have done this for years and now it feels "easier". Yep- the translation of what I was this morning: LAZY!

But God isn't lazy. Nor does He waste any of His Word. Probably because it is Living and Active and stuff like that!

So.....

Psalm 3 was just what I needed this morning. It is a time when I am looking at our schedule and our requirements and our plans and our meetings and our lesson plans and our laundry and I am wondering, "How am I going to fit 39 gallons of needs into a 24 gallon day?"

And this is what God told me from Psalm 3:

3  But Thou, O Lord, are a shield about me

* I am protected all the time by the encompassing shield of my Father

    My glory, and the One who lifts my head.

* He is what is good and He is the One who lifts my head out of my hands. It is He who takes care of me!

4  I was crying to the Lord with my voice

* Oh good, even David cried sometimes! I love the honesty of Scripture. It is not bad for me to cry to the Lord!

     And He answered me from His holy mountain.

* Not only MAY I cry, but my cries are heard! By God! And He answers me!

5  I lay down and slept

* God's care, protection, and answers allow me to stop fretting and to rest! 

     I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.

*God's care and protection are not to allow me to stay in bed! His refreshment is to re-energize me to wake up, get up, and face whatever He allows into my life.

6  I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people.

 * It is amazing how sometimes five people (the number of family still living in my home) can seem like ten thousands! At least all the things those people need or all the messes they can make or all the life that we live together! And then add in everything else and everyone else and all the everything involved in raising a family and homeschooling and being involved in "stuff" and- it feels like ten thousands of people are:

    Who have set themselves against me round about.

* yep, it is true. Sometimes it feels like all that stuff above (in the people paragraph) are set against me! Like drawn up in battle array! With awfully big guns!

7  Arise, O Lord; save me, O my God!...

* Hallelujah! It is not my job to conquer all the foes. Instead, God will save me!

8  Salvation belongs to the Lord;
    Thy blessing be upon Thy people!

* God brings the salvation and God brings the blessings

My job is to rest in Him and then get up when He wakes me. To look on the ten thousands of needs and not fear. To call on the Lord and watch His salvation.  To wait for His blessings.


So I think I will get up after all this morning. And face the day. In the presence of my Lord. And I think I will sit back and see what He Will Do!

It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning:                    great is thy faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23 

 

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;

Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

We sang this old hymn Sunday.

It was so wonderful to sing the old words.  I love contemporary worship songs as well, but it warms my heart to sing a song written in 1887 and feel the fellowship of trusting God with Believers who lived over a hundred years before me.  It was written by Anthony J. Showalter and Elisha Hoffman as they reflected on the verse Deut. 33:27: "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."

What a fellowship, what a joy divine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Leaning seems to me to be the opposite of striving.  Of doing.  Of toiling.  Of laboring.  Of fighting. Of contending.  Of working.

Leaning is a picture of resting.  Of surrendering.  Of waiting.  Of reclining.  Of trusting.

Leaning, leaning, safe and secure from all alarms;

Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

What have I to dread, what have I to fear,

Leaning on the everlasting arms;

I have blessed peace with my Lord so near,

Leaning on the everlasting arms.

Am I dreading something?

Am I fearing anything?

Am I aware of the closeness of my Savior?

He is close enough for me to lean.  To lean on Him.  To lean on His everlasting arms.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, 

 And do not lean on your own understanding.

Prov 3:5

Should I lean on myself? On my own understanding?


Not if I am trusting.  Trusting in the Lord with my whole heart is the only way I will have the faith to lean on Him and wait patiently for Him to move as He so chooses.


So I will choose to lean.

Leaning, leaning, leaning on the everlasting arms.

Fighting For Joy

Friends kept innocently asking me at church today,  "How are you?"  or even better, "How was your week?"

Ummmm.........how could I answer that?  Today?  After this week?

So I pulled out my best oratorical evasive actions and tried to seemlessly dodge the question and change the subject.

But a few times I was caught off guard and without thinking would pull out the standard response, "Fine."  And then I would turn around and ask the Lord to forgive me for lying. 

It is not that anything terrible or major had occurred this week.  Just a lot of little things piled all on top of each other. And honestly, I didn't feel fine at all.

It is not always like that.

There can be the sort of days where you wake up early, feel refreshed, and quickly find a cute outfit.  Your hair works, your kids are awake, and when you walk out into your kitchen it is sparkly clean.  By the end of your day there are lots of check marks on your To Do list and you blissfully are able to quickly fall asleep with a sense of "well done" in your mind.

And on that day, the joy comes easy.  Not only do you act joyful, you feel joyful.

And then....

And then there are those other kind of days.

You wake up late, with a head ache.  The shirt you wanted to wear is clean, but is in the load in the washer...the load you were supposed to put in the dryer before you went to bed....the load that now smells more like mildew than mountain meadows.  Your kids are fighting and your shoe laces break.  After trying to fix your hair several times you consider shaving it all off but decide on a pony tail instead .  You walk into the kitchen to find that "someone" forgot to finish cleaning last night and now you get to start off today with yesterday's work.  And that is just the beginning of the day.

At the end of the day you lay in your bed, staring at your ceiling, not only regretting the way you spoke to your husband, but wondering, "What did I get done today?" and honestly, you really don't remember a single accomplishment of the day.

And on THAT day.  On that day you have to fight for joy.

Or at least I do.

I don't think I fought for joy very hard this week.  I was tired of fighting.

But to not fight for it, is to disobey.  I am called to rejoice.  I am called to HAVE joy.

To possess it.

To live it.

This morning at church the music was like a balm on my soul.  It washed over me and through me.  And washed out some of the grump and the pain and the weariness.  And it wasn't just an emotional response to nice music.  The music was a balm because the songs were songs of praise.

And to have joy I have to praise.  Him.  And I have to trust.  Him.

 And this morning at church my precious Lord did something else.  He spoke softly to my soul and He met me at my point of sorrow and He first assured me,

"A broken and a contrite heart He will not despise." (Ps 51:17)

Oh the relief of that. He did not despise my broken heart.  He did not want me to stay there, but he did not despise it.   My soul rejoiced at the immense consolation of His Word.

And then we sang the old song, "All in All"

When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all.

Sweet reassurance flowed down upon me. All that I need my Savior is ready and willing to give me.

A little later a sweet young friend asked me how my week had been and I just looked at him, smiled and said, "God is good."  And he laughed.  He understood.  He hadn't had a very good week either.

My week had not been good.  And I hadn't FELT joy.

But always and without fail stands the truth that my GOD IS GOOD.  That is not a feeling.  That is a foundation.

I did not fight very hard for joy this past week.  Really, really did not.

But I vow that I will this week.  Because of Psalm 121...(and I am changing pronouns in this Scripture so I will remember, on the bad days, that this is for me...and of course it is for you too!)

The Lord is my keeper;
The Lord is my shade on my right hand.
The sun will not smite me by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect me from all evil;
He will keep my soul
The Lord will guard my going out and my coming in
From this time forth and forever.

I will fight for joy and I can.  Because my God is taking care of everything else. 

Poverty and Generosity and The Widow's Mite

By the world's standards, we are anything but poor.

In fact, by the world's standard we are doing fine. I don't think many Americans understand poverty, anyway. It is just not something we are intimately acquainted with.

But sometimes it feels like we are.

There are times when the requirements and the checkbook are in total disagreement.

There are times when the cars sound bad, and the cupboards are sparse, and the phone bill is higher than expected, and the dentist finds cavities, and, and, and...

This is not really poverty. But once again, it can feel like it.

So, in times like that, what happens to our giving? When the budget is squeezed? When the economy is bad? When the excuses for why we can't give sound perfectly logical and sound?

I have wrestled with these questions often lately.

But I read a quote in a book today that defies my logic:

How that in a great trial of affliction the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded unto the riches of their liberality.

(2 Cor. 8:2)

Joy can arise out of trials, and poverty and generosity can live together...Jesus is our example; He possessed nothing on this earth, but He had everything to give, even His life." -Michael Whit

This reminds me of the story of the widow in the temple. Jesus sat and watched as wealthy people put in LOTS of money. But when the widow put in two mites, it was something He wanted to point out to His disciples.

Mark 12:41-44 Then he sat down opposite the offering box, and watched the crowd putting coins into it. Many rich people were throwing in large amounts. And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, worth less than a penny. He called his disciples and said to them, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the offering box than all the others. For they all gave out of their wealth. But she, out of her poverty, put in what she had to live on, everything she had.”

It wasn't about the amount. It was never about the amount.

It was about the ALL.

It wasn't the leftovers. It wasn't what wouldn't be noticed. It wasn't the extra.

And I don't think this principle just applies just to money. Not only is my money limited, but so is my time, and my energy, and my availability, and my love, and my patience, and my long-suffering.

I think the only thing I am not poor in is my need.

Maybe THAT is why Jesus said, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 5:3)

Oh my, that gives me comfort. He knows all about my poverty. He loves me anyway. He desires me to share His kingdom with Him- where there is endless joy and no need.

And He does not require nor need vast amounts from me. He requires and desires, but still does not need, something more- my all.

So Lord, out of my poverty, in all areas of my life, I vow to give You my mites- my all.

Because You are so immeasurable and supremely worth it.

Take My Hand

One of the most fearful moments for a Mom is to be in a crowded place and to realize you cannot find your small child. They are so small and they can't be seen amongst all the people.

So what does a Mom do then? You throw all pride and dignity to the wind and search frantically, call loudly, and interrogate anyone and everyone until you locate your missing child. Oh the joy indescribable when that missing lamb is discovered.

After hugging hard, and scolding gently or vehemently (in direct proportion to how long you searched for him) you take him or her firmly by the hand to walk back through the crowd together. You can see easily which way to go as you lead your newly rescued child because you are an adult. And even if you are a height-challenged adult, like me, you can usually find your way through the crowd.

But think about this from the young child's perspective.

What do they see?

A forest of legs, one indistinguishable from the other except for the type of pants and the length and the width of those pants. It must be a very bewildering sight from their eye level. Maybe that is how they got lost in the first place. They thought they were following the right pair of jeans, but when they looked all the way up to the face....it was the wrong face.

I can completely identify with those little ones.

Life can be filled with lots of pairs of "legs".

There can be money problems or relationship problems. There can be medical issues or car issues or issue issues. There can be job complications or school complications or parenting complications.

As I stand and try to find my Father in such a crowd it is easy for me to get lost. Maybe I thought I was following the right pair of legs, but when I looked up...it was the wrong face.

What do I do now? Sit down and cry?

If I were to fly away on the wings of the dawn,

and settle on the other side of the sea,

even there Your hand would guide me,

Your right hand would grab hold of me.

Ps. 139:9,10

Oh, that's right I am not out of my Father's sight. He has thrown off all His Dignity and come to earth as a baby and a Saviour. He will find me. He will take me by the hand. He will guide me.

And while I still cannot not make my way through that "forest of legs" on my own, I can rest my hand in the Hand of the One Who can see the way.

Guide me into Your truth and teach me.

For You are the God who delivers me;

on You I rely all day long.

Ps 25:5

I Stand

by Susan Macias

I stand with my face embraced by the sun

There is joy in life, something new has begun

The God of all goodness, He loves and provides

His heart is toward me, in Him I abide

I raise my hands, praise the God of good gifts

All comes from above, songs to Him do I lift

I need Him, I trust Him, in face of all that I see

I seek Him, I find Him, His hand is on me.

I stand with my face stung harsh by the storm

There are difficulties ahead, beware, be warned

Trials and suffering, and death to my dreams

I stumble, fall down, and wince at the sting

Faltering and feebly I raise hands to my King

Quietly, but firmly, my voice starts to sing

I need You, I trust You, in face of all that I see

I seek You, I find You, Your hand is on me.

I don’t know the result of the good and the bad

But I’ll stand and praise whether happy or sad

The God who walks beside me on pathways of light

Is the God who stays with me in the valley of night

He redeems, He restores, and doesn’t waste a thing

He works all together for the good that He brings

I need Him, I trust Him, in face of all that I see

I seek Him, I find Him, His hand is on me.

Take My Hand

Note: the following poem comes mostly from my reading in the Psalms.

Take My Hand

Can you walk with Me through all your doubts?

Can you believe Me when shifts the sand?

Can you trust Me as rain pours down?

Will you reach up and take My hand?

Life may not be as you expected.

There are times that your heart has broke.

But remember the times I have held you.

And remember the words I have spoke.

Can you trust me to work in your life?

To redeem everything that is done?

Can you remember before when I've saved you?

Can you recall fights that I've already won?

Can you see that I am your fortress?

I am your hope and rock where you stand.

I am your shield and your joy and your refuge.

I sustain you and hold tight to your hand.

I will never leave or forsake you.

I will be with you when trouble surrounds.

I will rescue and satisfy you.

I will plant you in the firm ground.

Can you walk with Me through all your doubts?

Can you believe Me and firmly stand?

I am all that can save and sustain you.

Will you reach up and take My hand?